Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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