The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
