By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
