am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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