You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
