Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
