I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
