he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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