What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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