how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
