Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
