I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
