i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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