I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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