how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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