12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
