how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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