Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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