Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
