I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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