tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
