Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the condom got lost in my hair
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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