Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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