three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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