I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
