I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
