I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need moral support for this bender
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Randomize
