hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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