Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
