Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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