i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
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Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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