I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
