I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
