I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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