I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
