I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize