He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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