I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
