But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you have to choose: penises or morals?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
