yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
