Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9

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(908): View more from New Jersey

when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.

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(818): View more from California

I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

(1-818): View more from California

At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't want my vagina anymore.

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