WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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