they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i need some magic done to my vagina
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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