He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
