I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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