Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
