Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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