I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
