Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize