and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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