My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
