Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
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You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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