I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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