Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
