last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
