Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
