so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
