Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
