honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
