not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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