Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize