i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
