it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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