I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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