his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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