I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize