ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
