Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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